i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
