I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize