No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Randomize
