I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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