that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
