I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
