I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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