Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
