it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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