No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize