i need an iv and a liver transplant
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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