Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
