I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
