It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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