After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
