i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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