Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed

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(623): View more from Arizona

Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple

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(503): View more from Oregon

Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....

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(609): View more from New Jersey

why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal

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(407): View more from Florida

Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!

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(410): View more from Maryland

just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.

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