It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
