I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
