what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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