Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize