so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
