in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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