Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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