And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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