My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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