Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
