No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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