Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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