I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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