it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize