I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
