My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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