he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
