My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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