i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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