We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
