I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We were destined to go to rehab together
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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