I like my sex mixed with concussions.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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