Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize