i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
