I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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