watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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