Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
