Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I will die if light touches me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize