so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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