Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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