I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
