i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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