honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
