I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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