i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
