turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize