I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize