Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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