She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
