well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
