she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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