I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
