Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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