wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
